


Orbit

by kristiest



Series: TsukiHina Short AU/s [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Deaf Hinata, Haikyuu - Freeform, M/M, Pining, TsukiHina, hinata shouyou - Freeform, someones disabled, tsuki hina, tsukishima kei - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:00:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25186018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kristiest/pseuds/kristiest
Summary: Where the sun goes, the moon follows.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Tsukishima Kei
Series: TsukiHina Short AU/s [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1912936
Comments: 37
Kudos: 320





	1. Orbit

**Author's Note:**

> this has been in my drafts for so long and i thought itd be nice to post it since im not going to post for a while. im in a slump

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Despite the bickering and the avoiding, Tsukishima loves Hinata.

“Please, Tsukishima. Find him for us.” Sawamura said with his voice overflowing with concern, it sounded different over the phone. And in the background was crying, Tsukishima assumed that it was Tanaka and Sugawara.

“Yeah. I actually just…” Tsukishima opens the door to the rooftop, “Found him.”

“Really?! Good, bring him back as soon as possible.” Daichi shouts over the line, making Tsukishima hiss and pulls his ear away from his phone. “Thank you! We’ll see you two soon!”

Tsukishima hangs up, sighing. Not because he was tired, he was looking for Hinata for more than an hour already. He sighed not because he was mad, for Hinata ran away again and didn't want to practice. This has already been the 4th and it’s just Wednesday. Hinata just… isn't the same anymore. He sighed but because he was relieved. Relieved to finally see the ginger, the boy he worries about ever so much and wants to keep in his sights all the time just so that his heart could stop being anxious.

It’s Tsukishima who always, always finds Hinata. He just… knows. He knows his first love well, actually, a little  _ too _t  well. Despite the bickering and the avoiding, Tsukishima loves Hinata. It’s a secret, it always has been, and Tsukishima has no plan of confessing. He’s content with watching him from afar, as long as he knows he’s okay-Tsukishima knows to himself that he is, too. But that’s changed. No one really notices it but Hinata goes to these specific spots around the school depending on how he feels. And Tsukishima, being the observant boy that he is (swear he’s not a stalker)-he knows exactly where Hinata would be every time he disappears.

No one knows how he does and every time they ask, his answer is always ‘Just observe him.’ It doesn't really make sense to anybody, but that’s all there is to it. 

Hinata goes to the main grounds when he wants to rest, he goes to the infirmary if he feels depressed, he goes to the garden in an attempt to bring himself up or when he’s mad, and finally, he goes to the rooftop when he wants to calm down.

Hinata doesn't run around like before. As everyone knows and can see, Hinata’s always racing to the VBC with Kageyama, now he’s just walking. Slowly. He’s not that person who’s a magnet to anything and everyone that’s fun anymore, and he has very limited energy. If you compared the Hinata from last month and the Hinata today, you would find yourself asking, ‘ are they really the same person?’

Tsukishima slowly approached the boy who stood in the far corner, looking up to the sky while he leaned towards the metal railing. Hinata’s long hair almost covered his eyes, and it was being blown by the warm wind. He slumped, with pale porcelain skin being illuminated by the sun that shined ever so brightly. The blonde did his very best not to run, not to grab the shorter boy and pull him into the tightest hug. To tell him with his voice that it’s alright and it’ll get better.

But seeing Hinata in this state, this glass-fragile state. He looked so weak (and he is) that you must always treat him with the utmost care. Hinata’s not so strong anymore, physically and mentally. 

Tsukishima walked to the spot a few steps away from Hinata, he was waiting to be noticed but the boy was just too lost in the clouds. So, Tsukishima knocked on the railing three times and hoped that Hinata would feel it. And he did, Hinata slowly looked at Tsukishima and it was like he was lagging-like he didn't know what to say, and Tsukishima didn't know what to expect.

“Ah… Tsukki.” Hinata faintly smiled, tilting his head. “You found me again.” His eyes return to the sky, “I saw you earlier at the grounds, all panicky. Were you looking for me for.. more than an hour?”

Tsukishima doesn't answer, he just purses his lips and leans his forearms on the warm metal and looks down. A few moments of complete silence pass, Tsukishima hears the boy beside him huff so he turns to look. Hinata’s facing the sky with his eyes closed, just feeling the wind that summer blew. He was illuminated by the sunshine, he was glowing-with his pale porcelain skin and deflated body. 

He looked calm. For the first time in weeks, Hinata looked genuinely okay. Once he opens his eyes, he turns to Tsukishima but their eyes don't meet.

“I know this sounds stupid. But I wish you would speak up.” Hinata mutters, his voice quiet but audible enough for Tsukishima to understand. “I want to hear your voice so badly…”

Tsukishima takes sticky notes from his pocket and a pen, he writes ‘its ok’ for Hinata. Once the boy’s read it, he sticks it on his back. 

“... how do you do it?”

Tsukishima writes ‘do what?’

“This. Putting up with me, finding me all the time.”

Tsukishima shrugs.

“It’s so weird that when I'm speaking…” Hinata pauses, turning his back on the railing, leaning and looking down. “I can't hear my own voice.” To this, Tsukishima doesn't answer again. “And it hurts when someone tries to talk to me, then they cover their mouths, because they forget that I’ve gone deaf.”

“I can read lips a little,” He continues, “But it’s been scary lately.”

“Why?” Tsukishima asked and didn't get an answer, so he poked Hinata’s shoulder to make him look. “Why?” He repeated, mouthing the word this time.

“Suddenly losing my hearing, it just hit me. I can never hear anyone’s voice anymore. And listen, I met this little girl yesterday who was lost while I was going home…”

“She was so small and she talked a lot, I kept wondering how her voice sounded, and whatever she was saying.”

“I wanted to help her but because of my disability, I couldn't.”

“I'm so pathetic suddenly.”

“Why did this have to…” Tears began to well in his eyes, they threatened to fall and Hinata just covered his face. “Why did this have to happen?”

Hinata’s voice cracked, and it broke Tsukishima’s heart. He couldn't do anything else but pull Hinata slowly towards himself, engulfing the now sobbing boy in his arms. He rubbed his back, stroked his hair, he kept repeating that it was going to be okay despite knowing that he couldn't be heard.

They stayed like that for a long time. Even when Hinata stopped crying, Tsukishima didn't let go. He just didn't plan to. Hinata’s breathing began to stabilize a few minutes ago, and Hinata’s arms that were wrapped around Tsukishima’s waist loosened. A few moments more, Hinata, in a gentle manner, pushes Tsukishima away. 

“Sorry… thank you.” Hinata fondled with his fingers, and Tsukishima wipes Hinata’s red, puffy eyes.

「It’s okay.」Tsukishima signed, 「Cry all you want. I'm here for you.」

Hinata’s eyes widened, utterly shocked because Tsukishima signed to him in JSL. Tsukishima appreciates the expression on Hinata’s face as he pinches the boy’s cheek.

“You know JSL?”

「I learned a little for you.」

“For me?!”

「Don’t flatter yourself.」

Hinata rolls his eyes, but he hugs Tsukishima. They giggle, and hearing Hinata giggle like that lifted some of the weight inside Tsukishima’s chest.

“Thank… you.”

The blonde pats Hinata’s head. Hinata signs to him, 「How much do you know?」

「The basics, at least.」Tsukishima signs back.

“You know, you can just write. You don't need to learn JSL for me.” 

「I want to.」

“It could be our own little code since no one else understands it!”

「Exactly.」Tsukishima signed as he smiles, 「So, let’s learn together from now on.」

「I’d like that.」

「I love you, Hinata.」

“... sorry, what? I don't know that last one.”

「Nevermind then.」

“What! Tell me!”

「Don't wanna. Let’s go.」

Tsukishima starts to walk and head to the door, and Hinata tries to annoy the answer out of Tsukishima. Tsukishima isn't worried. He knows the boy is going to forget the sign he just did, sooner or later.


	2. Chase

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The anxiety of looking in places he's not familiar with, holding and comparing his hands with another's, walking home while hating himself. In the back of his head, he thinks he should stay away from Hinata. But at the same time, he wants to stay by his side until his last breath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wasnt sure whether i should put it in the same book or in another as a part of a series. :/  
>  i havent proofread but i hope you enjoy. have a good day

It’s happened a few times. Okay, maybe a hundred times already. But this time, it’s different. Hinata’s hiding somewhere that Tsukishima isn't familiar with. And, even worse-it’s already dark out. He’s panicking, his heart is threatening to jump out already-and it’s only been 30 minutes since he’s started looking.

Earlier, he was called by Kageyama. He said that Hinata’s mom called and said that the ginger didn't come home. Since Kageyama lived a little nearer to Hinata, he was in charge of looking around the neighborhoods. Tsukishima was in charge of looking around the slope and the nearby parks. 

_ Where would Hinata go? Why isn't he home yet? It’s so dark already. Doesn't he ever think about the people that worry about him?! _

Tsukishima felt thumping and squeezing in his chest. He’s turning his head in all directions like a crow, praying to all the gods that Hinata’s okay-that he’s safe and nothing bad happened to him. He’s incredibly anxious because he let his mind roam into wherever it pleased. He’s worried because what if Hinata crashed? What if Hinata got hit? What if Hinata was careless again and got into an accident?

He’s cursing, continuously. He’s worried, scared and irritated-Today, Hinata looked like he was doing okay. He didn't run away from training, he didn't cut nor skip classes either. He was smiling today, he was laughing.  _ Was that all an act, then? _

“Shit.” Tsukishima pinches the bridge of his nose. “If I were him, where would I go?”

Despite the busy day and the hard training, he didn't feel exhausted. How could he feel exhausted when the only thing he’s thinking about is Hinata? He made his way up the slope, at the end of it was a park that was empty. He goes anyway. Hinata’s small, so he could be hiding somewhere. He could be leaning against a tree, or under a slide in the playground, he could be in the comfort room. Tsukishima takes a look around, going through every crook and cranny.  _ Hinata isn't here,  _ the blonde squats down and groaned-ruffling his hair. “Please, please be okay.”

He got up again and went to the next nearby park, of course he still kept an eye out. He made it there without finding Hinata. It’s been an hour already-Kageyama hasn't sent any updates. This time, it’s the two of them who’s looking for Hinata.

He wants Hinata to be found as soon as possible but… somewhere inside him, he’s hoping that it’s him who finds Hinata. He wants to be the one who reaches his hand out to Hinata, he wants to be the one to comfort him, to hold him and stop him from crying. Is that selfish? If it’s being selfish, Tsukishima doesn't mind.

The second park was a little bigger, with two separate playgrounds that connected two different neighborhoods. Tsukishima started looking around, it was completely dark now. The street lamps were kind of dim, the blonde was thankful for the moon. It was brighter today, at least the moon was on his side today.

Tsukishima walks to one of those circular castle-esque, it’s small but Tsukishima’s sure that 12 year olds could fit in those. He’s also sure that Hinata could fit inside that. Growing up, Tsuksihima wasn't very fond of playgrounds. He was just too tall. He made his way there and found a bike. It’s Hinata’s bike.

He kneels down by the entrance to check inside, and… there he is, leaning on the wall, curled in a ball while hiding his face in his arms.

“Hinata…” Tsukishima feels something pierce his heart. Carefully, he got in. It was so tiny that he had to slump and lower his head. He sat next to Hinata. Unnoticed, Tsukishima just sat there for a few moments, unbothering Hinata and his quiet sobs.

_ Why is he crying?  _ Tsukishima looks, eyes showing an emotion that was a mix of pure sadness and confusion.  _ Why’s he hiding here? _ Hinata’s small. Everyone knows that. But seeing him here, in the dark, curled up like that-he appeared to be even smaller. Anyone would mistake this person as a lost, crying kid.

Tsukishima wants to get his attention but doesn't know how to. He’s sure if he pokes him out of nowhere, the boy would jump and panic.  _ Should I wait, then? _ He hums, leaning back and just watching Hinata.

“I’ll wait for you to stop crying, then I’ll talk to you once you’ve calmed down.” Tsukishima whispers, bringing his phone out to update Kageyama and Hinata’s parents. In the meantime, he just tried to catch his breath. He closes his eyes with a huff. He’s been running around since the morning. Today was a busy day. Too busy that he couldn't really keep an eye on Hinata.

A few minutes later, he feels something tugging on his leg. He opens his eyes and sits up, Hinata hasn't moved from position but his hand is on Tsukishima’s leg.

「Why are you here?」Hinata signs.

“How do you expect me to answer you when you're hiding your face?” Tsukishima asks, moving to Hinata’s front and taking his hand. He grips on it, Hinata does the same. But the boy doesn't show his face yet. 

「How did you know I was here?」

“How do I answer you?”

「Did mom call?」

“Look at me.”

「I'm so sorry for being a nuisance.」

“You aren't… Hinata, please look at me.”

「I’m so sorry.」

Tsukishima takes both of Hinata’s hands and he pulls Hinata to him. The boy’s arms slithered to the back of the blonde like his life depended on it. On black uniform fingers grasped, sobs continued, Tsukishima’s voice that only whispered sweet nothings. If Hinata heard those words, his heart would have jumped out and screamed in C4. But he didn't, so inside Tsukishima’s warm embrace was the boy that was breaking down, appearing to be a boy who had lost everything.

Maybe he did. Tsukishima isn't one to say. He doesn't know the life Hinata’s living outside of school. He doesn't know what’s happening in his mind and heart. Tsukishima doesn't know a lot about Hinata, that was obvious. The only things he knew are his habits, stories you’d know about him if you were a friend, and his disappearing love for volleyball.

Hinata’s breath hitched and his chest trembled while his tears dampened Tsukishima’s button up. The blonde brushed Hinata’s hair up in order to kiss their forehead, however the boy tried to pull back. Tsukishima held him tight, and even closer this time. 

“Damn it.” Hinata cursed, hands falling down to his sides. He started to calm down, he held his breath to stop himself from crying any more. Tsukishima’s hold shifts but it doesn't stray from the smaller body, he rests his chin on Hinata’s head and quickly places a kiss. “Tsukki…”

Hinata pushes him away gently, looking up to him with his red and extremely puffy eyes. But the boy couldn't see Hinata’s face clearly because of how dim it was. Surely, if he saw Hinata’s face, his heart would crumble. Tsukishima tilts his head as his hands move to Hinata’s cheeks, his thumbs wipe the tears that stayed on Hinata’s under eyes. “What?”

“How did you find me?”

“I just looked for you.”

“Be honest, do you have a GPS on me?” Tsukishima bursts out laughing, because of this-Hinata hits him. “Tell me!”

“I don't! Why would I do that?!” Tsukishima says while he laughed, he looked at Hinata and the boy showed a face of confusion. “Ah, sorry.” Tsukishima covers his mouth, trying to stop himself from laughing any more. 「I don't, why would I put a GPS on you?」

“Then how do you find me all the time?” Hinata purses his lips.

「I guess I'm just lucky when it comes to the game of looking for Hinata Shouyou.」Tsukishima signs, taking Hinata’s hands again because it’s already become a habit of his. He does this for the both of them. Because of the small hands that are within his hands, he is assured that Hinata’s here, doing well and isn't anywhere else. Holding the hands that didn't match his own temperature meant that there are no active threats-and  _ active threats  _ being-the heaviness he carries every time he finds out that Hinata’s gone missing again. He doesn't know if Hinata finds comfort in holding hands because he gets all red and fidgety, he’s not sure if this solace is mutual–he prays that it is. 

“Your hands are so big.” Hinata says, out of nowhere as he lifts his wrists, reversing the position. He pressed his hand against Tsukishima's larger ones, the difference was hilarious. “While mine are so small.”

“What’s the matter?” Tsukishima mouthed, “Your hands are cute.”

“They aren't…” Hinata bites the inside of his cheek and sighed. “I can't see you very well.”

Tsukishima gets his phone and turns on the flash, he doesn't point it to Hinata. He just places it down on the ground, a little behind Hinata. Just where it can shine on everything except the front of Hinata’s figure.

「Better?」

“Yes.”

「Are you okay now?」

“Yeah…”

「Want to hug?」

Hinata chuckles, “Maybe later.”

「Okay.」Tsukishima leans in to kiss Hinata’s forehead again. 「Is there anything you want to rant about?」

For a second, Hinata thinks. He looks outside, then to Tsukishima. “Dunno. I just felt down, suddenly.”

「You sure?」

“Yes.” Hinata smiles, “Sorry for worrying you.”

「If you're really sorry, bow down to me.」

“Nevermind then.” Hinata giggles and sighs, “That thing you said last week… me too.”

「What did I say last week?」Tsukishima signs, not sure about what Hinata’s talking about. He said quite a lot of things last week. Is it the ‘i love you’?

“Heh, nevermind then.”

「Come on, say it.」

Hinata sticks his tongue out like a child. “No.”

「Fine then.」

“Yeah.”

「Okay.」

“Whatever.”

「Whatever.」

“Pfft. Should we go home?”

「Yeah. I’ll walk you home.」

“Okay.” Hinata gets up and out. Tsukishima, who followed behind him, crawled out. Hinata’s acting like nothing happened-he’s back to his jumpy, giggly and active self. He held the handles of his bike but didn't get on, “Since we’re walking.”

「Want me to take that from you?」Tsukishima asks, offering a hand to Hinata.

“Okay,” Hinata smiles, giving his bike to the taller one. They walk out the park in silence. All that was heard was their footsteps, the clicking of Hinata’s bike, the bugs that hide under leaves–Tsukishima takes his phone out because he receives a message. 

Kageyama Tobio:

[hey. sorry i can't stay longer, my mother’s telling me to come home. Hinata's mom told me to tell you to stay for dinner. be safe :p]

Tsukima Kei:

[k. u too]

Kageyama Tobio:

[tell hinata im going to talk to him tomorrow]

Tsukishima Kei:

[tell him yourself]

Kageyama Tobio:

[💢💢💢]

Tsukishima rolls his eyes and puts his phone back in his pocket.

“What is it?” Hinata asks, making his way to the other side of the bike. Tsukishima tries to answer but he can't since both of his hands are occupied, so he just shakes his head. “Later then.”

On most days, Tsukishima would wish for silence. He would pray that Hinata’s mouth would stop running. Now that it has, since Hinata doesn't talk as much anymore, Tsukishima’s left with a bitter taste in the tongue. He never hoped for something like this. He hates himself for ever thinking about it. He wonders if he didn't think about that, maybe none of this would've happened. He once prayed for the calamity that Hinata Shouyou carried everywhere to fade and eventually leave. It has, and he can't say that he’s happy about it. If anything, he would do all he could to bring back the Hinata that once was. And he wondered, if he really loved Hinata, how could he wish for a thing? He doesn't recall it well. Maybe he meant it to be a joke, and maybe he was serious, but he never meant harm. From all of the wishes he’s made, the wish that came true ended up to be the one he’d come to regret.

“Hey. What are you thinking?” Hinata asks, tugging on Tsukishima’s sleeve. With Tsukishima's head lowered, he looks at Hinata from the corners of his eyes. “You don't look too good.” The blonde just shook his head again. “Well… anyway, we’re home.” Hinata stops and points at the residence in front, “Here’s home.”

Hinata opens the gate and lets Tsukishima in, telling him to leave the bike anywhere.

「I should go. It’s late.」Tsukishima signs.

“Oh? Stay for dinner.” Hinata holds the bottom of Tsukishima’s shirt. “Okay?”

「I don't know...」

“Are you okay?” Hinata asks, stepping closer because the change in Tsukishima's vibe was obvious, and it bothered him. “What…”

「I’ll leave now. It’s dark.」

「So, I’ll see you tomorrow.」

“Stay for dinner…!”

「No. It’s fine, I don't want to bother you any longer. So.」Tsukishima smiles and pats Hinata’s hair, 「Good night.」He smiles at Hinata and just stands there before leaving.  _ Hinata, I don't think I have the right to be beside you. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i apologize for any errors. i am still in a slump so apologize if its a bit wonky or dull. when im out of the block ill rewrite/edit. regardless, i hope you enjoyed


	3. Guilt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He’s still, with lips pursed and fingers fondling with each other. He’s nervous. He doesn't know why. He wants to speak, but then, what for? Hinata can't hear his voice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i think this'll have 7 chapter aia  
> enjoy and have a nice day

_ You are... light. You are what brightens up the path of many, you are someone we all want near. You are someone dangerous, something that needs to be contained. Sometimes you shine so brightly that it burns. Sometimes you look so lovely that it hurts. Sometimes you speak and it's like your singing because your voice sounds like an angel's. And when you smile, it's like a warm blanket being put over me, engulfing me in heat that is just like a mother's embrace. You are salvation. You are what keeps the darkness from getting close. You are who brings me out and away from the negativity that's already kept me for too long. in your hands and the heat that radiates from you, is love itself. It is something we all clearly don't deserve and yet you are something we all want to have. You are someone we want to keep to ourselves, someone we want to keep from the world from discovering. You are beauty. I want to keep you within arm's reach, and if god allows it, I just want to get away from civilization and live with you until the end of my time. you are... my life. You are what keeps me going. What gives me reason to continue breathing and to get out of bed everyday. To wake up and to keep on going. If it weren't for you... I would've disappeared already. _

_ However, like I said, you are someone I don't deserve. After what I wished? You deserve the world, I'm but a boy who just shines because of the light that comes of you. You deserve someone who can and will give you everything you want and need. I could be that person… but I can't, not after… _

“Tsukki,” Yamaguchi calls, pulling Tsukishima to the other side of the road. “I know you're out of it today but please pay attention when we’re walking.”

“Ah. Right.” Tsukishima shook his head and looked forward, pushing his glasses up. 

“Want to talk about it? Whatever's on your mind.” Yamaguchi asks, turning to his friend and offering him a sip from his banana milk. “It’s unlike you, spacing out.”

“No. It’s just Hinata again.” Tsukishima sighs and refuses the banana milk, “Thanks.” He muttered and pulled his phone out if he received a text or anything. He and Hinata haven't spoken since last night, it’s already past lunchtime and Tsukishima hasn't seen him yet. He’s a little worried, but he’s sure Hinata’s hanging around Kageyama since he wasn't told that Hinata’s gone missing again.

“I heard he didn't come home yesterday.” Yamaguchi says before finishing his drink.

“Yeah. I found him at the park and brought him back to his house.”

“Maybe you should start walking him home.” Yamaguchi suggested, squishing the carton in his hands and throwing it away in the nearest trash bin. “He’s bound to run away again, sooner or later. And, while you two walk-you know. Do what you do.”

“Which is?” Tsukishima’s brows are knitted as Yamaguchi shrugs.

“You have an effect on Hinata we don't have. He listens to you, and talks to you. You know that? Uh…” Yamaguchi thinks about a precise way to say what’s on his mind, “When he’s around us, he tends to fake his happiness. Then when he’s with you, you say he’s all gloomy and honest when you're together right?”

“Yeah?”

“I can see that Hinata trusts you a lot.” Yamaguchi smiles, “Dunno how that happened though.”

Tsukishima rolls his eyes, but takes Yamaguchi’s words to heart. It’s true. Hinata doesn't have a facade when he’s around him, he’s more honest and genuine. He doesn't hide a lot of things from Tsukishima, compared to the others. 

In one way or another, Tsukishima’s thankful that Hinata found comfort in his presence. However, Tsukishima doesn't know if it’s a good thing or a bad thing.

“Anyways. I'm sure something happened between the two of you.” Yamaguchi pauses because he stretches, “I don't know what but I hope you two talk soon. We need to hurry and get to class.”

“Right.” Tsukishima nodded and followed behind Yamaguchi. While they walk in the halls, in the corner of Tsukishima's eyes-he spots a ginger but doesn't pay much attention to it. With the ginger is Kageyama, the two are talking about something-it looks heated but it’s probably not. As the two always bicker over useless and meaningless matters.

_ Is Hinata okay with that, though? _ Tsukishima thinks, looking down. Isn't arguing and talking to Kageyama like that all the time tiring? 

“I wish he’d use his energy on me instead.”

“Hm? Did you say something, Tsukki?”

“Oh? No. Let’s go.”

Tsukishima starts to walk faster and they arrive at the front of their classroom, the two get in a few minutes before classes start again. 

It’s not that he purposely ignored the presence of Hinata, nor did he mean whatever it is he said without much thought. And damn, is he thankful for saying that in a whisper. If Yamaguchi heard him say something like that, he’d be laughing his brains out. The two proceed to their designated seats, and soon, classes start again.

Tsukishima couldn't seem to… focus. And that would be odd, in terms of the universe wherein Hinata’s okay. But in this world, Tsukishima not focusing in class has become normal. But his grades don't get worse, they never do. The day of him being careless towards those numbers that will define him will never come.

After his trance on the way to Hinata’s house stayed on his back like a leech. It bit it on his skin, sucked the already little effort he had to face everyday out and it injected all the negative thoughts it could.

Like  _ ‘I don't deserve to be with him’, ‘I'm incapable of making him happy’, ‘he should be someone who only wishes the best for him’ _

The boy sighed, thoughts wandering while an ear still listened to the lecture. He was on autopilot, writing statements that sounded important and doesn't even realize that he’s been writing his name.

“Tsukishima!” The teacher called, probably the 5th time already, by basing the number of times the boy’s written his name on his textbook.

“Sorry. What?” Tsukishima looks up from his seat, putting his pen down.

“Are you okay? You're looking a little pale.”

“Actually, sir, he’s been like this since morning.” Yamaguchi mentions, waving his hand in the air.

“Alright. Tsukishima, would you like to go to the infirmary?” The teacher asks, putting his book down to take a look at Tsukishima. “You really don't look well.”

“I…” Tsukishima thinks.

“You should go. I’ll take you.” Yamaguchi says.

“No. It’s fine, I’ll go by myself.” Tsukishima sighs and gets up. “Sorry, teacher.”

“Yamaguchi, take notes for him.”

“Yes, teacher.”

Tsukishima bows and takes his leave. He walked to the infirmary and on the way there, his path meets with Kageyama’s. He finds the boy in a reverie, head lost in the clouds.

“Kageyama.” Tsukishima says, curious why the raven haired boy was out of class.

“Oh, Tsukishima. Where are you headed?” Kageyama’s eyes focused before glancing at Tsukishima. “You look pale.”

“Do I look that bad?” The blonde massages a temple, “The infirmary. You? Why aren't you in class?”

“I brought Hinata to the infirmary because he wasn't feeling well. Since you're going there, can you make sure he doesn't run off again?”

“... leave it to me.”

“See you, then. I have to go.”

Kageyama runs off to his classes while Tsukishima makes his way to the infirmary.  _ Hinata’s not well again? _ He turns the doorknob of the infirmary room and opens it slowly, he peeks in. Hinata’s standing by the windowsill, the curtains flow back because of the cold wind. The school nurse is not present, so the two of them are alone.

Tsukishima steps in and closes the door behind him. Somehow, he can't find a single word to say. Like his brain forgot how to talk, and it’s as if his tongue is tied. He can just lie down in the nearest bed and go unnoticed since Hinata’s deaf-so he can finally rest. He couldn't get a single wink of sleep last night because of the thoughts he brought home.

He’s still, with lips pursed and fingers fondling with each other. He’s nervous. He doesn't know why. He wants to speak, but then, what for? Hinata can't hear his voice.

He’s decided on letting the ginger know. So, carefully, he made his way to Hinata’s side and he placed his hand gently on the boy’s shoulder.

“Ah. Tsukki.” Hinata glances at him and his return to the outside. “I didn't run away.”

「No, I just wanted to let you know that I'm here. I'm going to sleep.」

“Oh.” Hinata takes another look at Tsukishima and notices the unusual shade of his skin. “Yeah. I think you need to sleep.”

「I guess I do. What about you?」

“Would you cuddle with me?” It takes Tsukishima by surprise. But regardless of his shock, he nods. “Then,” Hinata smiles and takes Tsukishima’s larger hands in his and he walks them to the bed nearest to the window. Hinata hovers over the mattress, knees sinking into the softness as he moves to the other side. Tsukishima followed, and for a second, they sat and stared at each other.

Hinata’s looking at him with eyes that are pleading. He’s pouting, hands on his thighs with slumped shoulders. “What?” Tsukishima mouths, Hinata shrugs. 「What do you want?」

“Since you asked.” Hinata comes closer and takes both of Tsukishima's hands and pulls them to the sides, making the boy open his arms. Hinata crawls forward and places himself in between Tsukishima’s legs, while his hands are making their way around their waist loosely. “I said cuddle, didn't I?”

“R.. right…” Tsukishima huffs, lowering his chin to Hinata’s shoulder and intertwining his fingers on the small of Hinata’s back.

“Let's lie down.” 

Hinata puts his weight on Tsukishima, making the boy fall on his back and loosening the togetherness of his fingers. 

“Let’s stay like this until I feel better.” 

“Are you sick?”

Tsukishima wants to check Hinata’s temperature but the boy holds his hands back.

“I'm not sick. I just… want to cuddle with you.”

“Hinata, I don't know if this is something I should be doing with you.”

“... are you talking?”

“Mh-hm…”

“I can feel your chest rise and deflate, then the vibrations coming from your neck.” Hinata mumbled, putting his hand on Tsukishima's chest. “I miss your voice.”

“I miss the time when you were okay.”

The boys close their eyes. And just like that, they drift into dreamland.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nxt ch mite be focused on hinabby


	4. Guardian

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I never got his name.” Hinata’s mom gives her son a small smile, looking down on her hands. “When you were at the hospital, he stayed by your side until you woke up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok imma say it rn.  
> this might not have a happy ending

“Shouyou?” His mother called from the next room, after the call was a snap and a click of a tongue. “Right. Oh,” Hinata’s mom sighs, going to her son’s room and knocking without much thought. She opens the door, and she finds her son on the floor, playing with his volleyball.

Hinata turns to the door and he smiles at his mother, “What is it?” Mrs. Hinata hesitates, thinking of a way how she can speak with her son. She doesn't know a lot of JSL yet, and there wasn't any paper nearby. She sweats, and Hinata chuckles at this. “You can do it, mom.”

Mrs. Hinata laughs and scratches her cheek, 「Sister.」

“Natsu?” Hinata embraces his ball and stands up, “What about her?”

「She wants」She pauses and points at Hinata’s volleyball, 「With you」

“Oh?” Hinata smiled and fixed his shirt, holding the volleyball with one hand. “Where is she?” His mom points to the yard. “I’ll play with her for a bit.”

Mrs. Hinata smiles and waits for her son to come to the door so she could hug him. “My boy’s so precious,” She pats Hinata’s hair and combes it to the back of his ear.

“Mom…” Hinata’s ear reddens, this makes her laugh again. So she lets go, and Hinata makes a beeline to the backyard. Hinata disappears from his mother’s peripheral, and she feels her heartbeat pick up. Ever since the accident, she can't fully calm down knowing that her son’s not safe and at home.

“Big brother! Let’s play!” She hears Natsu from the yard and along with that was the sound of the volleyball hitting wrists. “Teach me, teach me!”

“Hold on, don't speak too quickly.” Mrs. Hinata hears as she makes her way to the yard, and once there, she finds her son kneeling on one knee. Natsu’s cupping her brother’s cheeks while she mouthed,

‘Teach me!’

“Oh! Okay. Okay.” Hinata gets the note then he takes her sister’s hands in his. “I’ll teach you.”

Natsu giggles and watches her brother stand up. Hinata gives her the ball, and she tries to hit the ball with her wrists like how her brother does it.

Hinata’s mom watches from door, she’s smiling, but it’s a pained smile-because she knows her son is acting strong in frong of her sister. She knows. She knows her son doesn't love volleyball like the way he did before. She knows he’s only trying to appear to be the same to his sister because she doesn't want her worrying, and it hits her-Hinata’s mother wonders if her son’s like this to his friends as well.

She prays that he isn't. Because if he’s true to his friends, maybe it could lighten the weight he’s just begun to carry. And in some ways, it could help her son get better. Of course, it wouldn't bring the ball of sunshine back, but at least… she knows he’s doing and getting better.

Then she remembers the blonde yesterday. The one who brought Hinata home. She never got his name.

Hinata did his best to teach his sister, while he hit the ball again and again with his palms and wrists, he kept on turning to his sister to see if she spoke. He was thankful because his sister didn't speak much as before, and every time she did, she’d let her brother know by pulling on his shirt.

They played for a while, and Hinata was starting to get tired. It was evident, so Natsu told her brother that she wanted to do something else so he could finally take a breather. Natsu takes the ball and rushes inside, leaving her older brother in the yard to rest.

“Thank you, baby.” Their mother told Natsu, her eyes following her daughter as she made her way to the kitchen to get her brother some water. 

Hinata sits down on the old wooden deck, he takes a deep breath and wipes the sweat off his forehead, his mother seats next to him and helps him with her sleeve.

“Thanks.” Hinata droops to his knees and his mother lifts his shirt. Natsu comes and gives her a towel, and she wipes the sweat off her son’s back. 

「How is brother?」Natsu signs, sitting on the ground in front of her brother. She gives him a glass of cold water, Hinata smiles and accepts it to take a sip.

“I'm fine, thank you Natsu.” 

Hinata’s mom finishes and pulls Hinata’s shirt down, “Natsu, don't tire your brother so much next time.”

“But he said he’s fine.” Natsu pouts.

“You know your brother isn't very energetic anymore.”

“... yeah, okay…” 

“Okay.” Mrs. Hinata smiles and fixes her daughter’s bangs. “Go in, now. I'm going to talk with your brother.”

“Oh? Can't I stay and listen?”

“No, let me talk to him alone.”

“But I want to talk to my big brother more…”

“Later, okay? Now go, shower if you need to.”

Natsu sighs and frowns, “Okay…” She gets in and goes to her room.

Hinata knows what’s happening, so he just keeps quiet. He leans back, resting his hands and letting it support his weight. “What is it?” He asks his mom, voice calm and subtle. He turned to his mom so he could read her lips. “Talk, just slowly. I'm not very good at it yet.”

“Okay.” Mrs. Hinata nods, “Yesterday.”

“What about it?” Hinata’s lips form a thin line. He knows his mom’s going to ask him about things. It would probably be about him feeling cabin fever or something. He hopes it's not anything related to therapy.

“The boy who walked you home.”

“Mom, he’s a classmate.”

“What’s his name?”

“What?” Hinata arches a brow, crooking his body to the side in curiosity. “What? Why?”

“I never got his name.” Hinata’s mom gives her son a small smile, looking down on her hands. “When you were at the hospital, he stayed by your side until you woke up.”

“... what do you mean?” 

“When I told your captain that you were caught in an accident, he came an hour later.” She gets her son’s hand to warm them, “He wouldn't tell me his name. He kept on saying that he wasn't anyone important.”

“You're saying he stayed with me, the whole time I was unconscious?”

“Yeah.” Mrs. Hinata smiles. “He came before dawn and left for school, then he’d return during lunch, then he’d leave again to go back to school. He’d come again later in the afternoon, after school… I saw him hold your hand, like this.” She tightened her grip and brought the back of Hinata’s hand to her lips. “And he kept saying ‘I'm here’, ‘Please wake up’, and he kept apologizing.”

“Did you two talk?” 

She shook her head, returning her hands to her lap. “I could tell that he didn't talk a lot. So I didn't force him nor did I ask him to. But I could tell that he cares about you a lot.”

“He does, does he?” Hinata deeply exhales through his nose, his cheeks redden a little. “He’s Tsukishima. Tsukishima Kei, we’re in the same club.”

“Tell him to come over for dinner next time.”

“I asked him to stay yesterday.” Hinata frowns, “But he didn't want to.”

“Drag him then. I want to know him more.” Mrs. Hinata inches closer and kisses the red cheek of his son, “I have to thank him for bringing you home.”

“... okay.”

“I want to talk to him, too.” She gets up and pulls her son to stand. “Let’s get in before it gets cold. Ask him his favorite food so that when he comes, he can eat a lot.”

Hinata stands up and goes in with his mom, sliding the doors closed. “Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> have a good day!!!


	5. Confession pt. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Maybe I rely on him too much?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy and have a good day!

「Baby, are you done getting ready?」Mrs. Hinata signed to her son who was drinking water in the dining room. 「Because if yes, K-E-I is outside.」

“What?!” Hinata chokes, spitting the water all over the table and wiping his lips. “Tsukishima’s outside?!”

「Yes.」Hinata’s mom sighs and gets a towel to wipe the table. 「So go, or you’ll get late.」

“R, right. I’ll get going!” Hinata grabs his bag and heads out, he puts his bag on and looks beyond the gate. “Tsukishima!”

「Good morning.」Tsukishima signs, sitting up straight from his bike. 

“Good morning! What are you doing here?” Hinata gets his bike and drags it outside, then he closes the gate. “You didn't tell me that you were coming.”

「I want to take you to school from now on.」Tsukishima answers him, 「And I want to take you home after club and practice, too.」

“You don't have to…” 

「Don't worry, I'm not doing this for you but for me.」Tsukishima signs while Hinata gets on his bike.

“What do you mean, for you?” Hinata and Tsukishima start to bike. “Try speaking! I'm getting better at lip reading.”

「No.」The blonde signed before pointing on the road, somewhat saying that Hinata needs to focus on the road. Hinata just agrees, and the two bike to school in silence.

When they arrive, they bike to the parking space and Tsukishima gets off his bike first, putting it in one rack then helping Hinata with theirs. 

“So, what did you mean?” Hinata asks again. He starts walking towards the school entrance with him. His eyes don't leave Tsukishima’s lips.

“Oh, don't ask.”

“But I need an answer!” Hinata pouts, “Tell me, please? Please.”

“Why do you need to-” Tsukishima grabs Hinata’s arm and pulls them towards himself. “Ugh, stop staring at me and watch where you're going.”

Hinata was about to walk over a hollow block, but then again, why would a hollow block be in the middle of the road?  _ The fuck? _ Tsukishima picks it up and places it on the side. “These kids.”

“S-sorry. Thanks for watching over me.”

「Whatever. Do you want me to walk you to your class?」

“You aren't going to ask me if I want to practice first?”

「I know you don't want to play volleyball anymore.」

Tsukishima turns his back on Hinata and starts to walk again. Hinata doesn't like it, seeing Tsukishima's back. So he walks faster and stays beside Tsukishima. There’s something off the blonde he can't quite understand, it’s like Tsuksihima’s holding something back. Like he’s hiding something, or he’s just purposely being cold.

Hinata’s not sure if  _ cold _ is the right word. Tsukishima really doesn't speak a lot to begin with, but he's quieter than usual. He’s been sweet lately, so, where’s that sweetness?

“Tsukki.” Hinata tucks on Tsukishima's sleeve, “Tsukki.”

The boy looks at him, 「What?」

“What’s your favorite food?”

「Why're you asking?」

“No reason. I want to treat you, one of these days.”

「You don't need to.」

“Oh, come on. Just say it.”

“Ugh.” Tsukishima faces away again and starts to walk faster. 「On second thought, walk to your classroom alone. I forgot that I have business with my teacher.」

“Oh?” Hinata stops walking. “Uh. Okay, then. See you.”

Tsukishima wants to look, but he doesn't.  _ Let’s save ourselves from any further pain, _ he says to himself and Hinata but only in thought. He walks to the faculty, and Hinata watches the blonde’s back move further and further until he’s covered by the other students’ backs. Hinata’s suddenly sad and he goes to his classroom. 

_I know there's something wrong, but what is it?_ Hinata thinks about yesterday. He attended training, Tsukishima walked with him but until the school gates. His hands were free, but he still didn't talk with Hinata. _I didn't do anything wrong, right?_ He worries, getting inside his classroom and sitting down. A few of his classmates wave to him and Hinata bows, then he faces down. _Am I too persistent? I know he doesn't really like being bothered but…_ he sighs, _I thought that changed. Is he tired of me?_ _Am I too much of a handful?_

“Maybe I rely on him too much?” He whispers, eyes closed. “I hope not…”

_Well. Lately. I guess I have been relying on him too much._ Hinata scratches his nape, shifting and sitting up. _Should I stop, then?_ _If he finds me annoying, he should say it._

“But then again, he came to my house. And even said that he’d do that from now on.” He mumbles, placing his index finger on his bottom lip as he looks up. “But I don't know why he’s doing that.”

His thoughts wander into a place it shouldn't. _Perhaps… he likes me?_ _Wait, wait, no. That’s impossible. Do I like him? Wait. Shit._ “Do I like…”

He bangs his head on the desk, face turning to a deep shade of red.  _ Oh my god, I do. _

Hinata feels someone poke his arm, so he abruptly sits up-and it hurts his neck-making him cock to the side with one eye closed. It’s like his nerves popped. “S-sorry, what?”

A group of his classmates are standing before him, holding a paper that said ‘ _ are you okay?’  _ in beautiful handwriting.

“Oh. Y-yes. Sorry.”

One of his classmates scribbles on the back of their textbook with a mechanical pencil, then he shows it to Hinata. It says, ‘you're so red! are you sure!?’

“Yes. It just feels a little hot…” Hinata chuckles nervously, then his classmates talk to each other. After a while, they nod at one another. “What are you all thinking?”

A few of the students go to the windows to open them, letting the wind go in for Hinata. Hinata realizes what his classmates are doing so he grows shy and waves his hands frantically. “N-no! It’s okay, thank you. I'm really fine.”

“He’s even redder now.” One of them said.

“Yeah. Should we bring him to the infirmary?” Another suggests.

“He said he’s just hot. Or maybe he’s sick?” And another adds.

“I'm fine!” Hinata stands up, and waves his hands again. “Really, I am. Don't mind me.”

“If… you say so.” One of them smiled, “Wait. How so you know what we’re saying?”

“Oh. I can read lips. Only a little, though.”

“How cool is that!”

“It’s good that you're not lagging back.”

“Uh.” Hinata scratches the back of his ear. “Yeah.”

“We’ll go back to our seats. Let us know if you need any help.”

“Thank you.”  _ I know I'm disabled but I'm just deaf. I'm not a vegetable that can't do anything by itself… _

After a few minutes, the bell rings and the homeroom subject starts. Two hours later, it’s break time and usually, Hinata would be rushing to the volleyball court with Kageyama. But, as many know already-he’s not very fond of the sport anymore. He’s learned to fall out of love with it because of how easy he gets tired now. And he hates himself for that-so he heads to the garden. He doesn't eat because he’s not hungry. His appetite, too, it’s also changed. He can't find the appetite to eat a lot anymore. One reason is he feels full easily and another is, he vomited once when he ate like before after the accident and he’s scared of vomiting again so he’s been watching his diet. 

In the garden, like usual, it’s empty. No one’s around. On some days, they would be couples who would come by but would leave if someone else comes or if it gets too crowded-which is rare. Hinata feels lucky for once because there’s no one else here but himself. The boy goes to one of the wooden benches under tree shade and he sits himself down.

He leans his elbows on his knees, while his hands carry his jaw.  _ All my dreams, thrown into the trash because of my disability. This is disappointing… no. No. Think positive thoughts.  _ He exhaled deeply, then he covered his eyes. “So… I like him, huh?” He pouts, “What bullshit.”

“Him, who suddenly changed out of nowhere… stayed by my side, cares for me and comforts me…”

Hinata snorts, he’s curious about how stupid he sounds right now. Would his voice be pitched? or would he be sounding shy? Suddenly, he missed hearing his own voice. But he misses Tsukishima's voice more. He brings his hands down a bit so he can see again, then he finds Tsukishima sitting on the floor in front of him. He jumps, falling back on the grass because of shock. “T-t-tsukishima!”

Tsukishima quickly helps Hinata up, noticing how red he is. The blood rush even reached the tips of his ears. The blonde helps him sit down again, then he sits down beside him.「Who are you talking about?」

“Huh? What are you talking about?” Hinata quickly said, averting his gaze and feeling embarrassment that reached the sky. “Dunno what you're talking about!”

Tsukishima arched a brow and poked Hinata to make him look. 「Why're you so red?」

“No reason, shut up!” The boy covers his face that reddened even more. 

“Why do you keep covering your face?” Tsukishima clicks his tongue, grabbing Hinata’s hands and pulling it down. He mouths, “Don't cover your face and look at me.”

“But Tsukki…” Hinata hesitates. Now he’s red as an apple.

“Why're you so red? Do you feel okay?” Tsukishima steps closer to press his forehead with Hinata’s, “You're kinda hot.”

“B-because you're too close!” Hinata pushes Tsukishima away, covering his forehead.

“Why does it matter? Don't we hug all the time?” Tsukishima mouthed slowly, “What’s the difference?”

“Because!”

“Because?” Tsukishima repeats, tilting his head.

“Because I like you!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it... 🎢 on goes down... from here.... :^


	6. Confession pt.2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Hinata doesn't need someone like me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok end game next chapter :) i didnt think id finish this but uh huh here i am

“ _ Sorry _ , what?” Tsukishima is taken by surprise, he falls on his butt because of the sudden loss of balance. In front of him is Hinata, completely red and jittery. “Wait, Hinata, say that again. I think I heard wrong.”

And he didn't. He didn't hear wrong. He heard exactly what Hinata said, those three words. Those three words he’s forbidden himself to say to the one who actually just said it. Hinata hesitates and the boy covers his face again. There’s this feeling of urgency and disgust bubbling inside of Tsukishima's stomach, and he mistakes it for hunger. But then again, there’s a bitterness lingering at the back of his throat. He stood up and grabbed Hinata’s hands, pulling them from his face. 

“Say it again.” Tsukishima says, voice sounding serious. The tone of his voice sounded different from the usual. As if he was purposely sounding cold, or unaffected, or-affected but not in a good way. His eyes were sharp, under those thick lenses of his glasses. This Tsukishima, Hinata’s never seen it before. 

It makes Hinata think if he  _ really _ did something wrong. Why was the latter acting like this? “You don't sound happy.” He says just as he observes, “I.. did I do something wrong?” He softly asked, withdrawing his hand so he could hold one of Tsukishima's big wrists. He looked down, “Or do you hate me  _ that  _ much?”

“Hinata.” There it is, that indifferent voice from so many weeks ago.  _ Was it just me? _ Hinata thought as he closed his eyes. “Let go. I don't hate you, if anything;you should hate me.” 

“Why would I?” Hinata draws from his chest, grip tightening that it would leave marks. “I like you. I like you a lot, Tsukki. Don't you feel the same…?”

“Sorry.” Tsukishima apologizes, carefully removing Hinata’s hands around his hand. “I don't. Why would I?” As much as he hated doing this, to himself and Hinata, he had to stay strong.  _ I can't, _ Tsukishima pursed his lips,  _ I can't, I don't deserve him.  _ He looks away, suddenly, he can't bear to see the rejection that he’d put upon Hinata. 

“Then?” Hinata’s voice cracked and so did his heart. “Those kisses on my forehead, the kindness you've been offering… they were all empty?” Hinata stands up, so that he can see Tsukishima's lips clearly. “Look at me.”

Tsukishima follows, and he prayed to God that the stoic face he’s been keeping and the detached facade he decided to let go of after the accident, the accident that he blames himself for-is still as effective as before. Their eyes met, Hinata’s focused eyes and Tsukishima's distant ones. “Of course. Why would it have any meaning? You're stupid to think that it does, I was clearly just taking care of you.”

“Then why? Why  _ are _ you taking care of me if you're so tired of me?” Hinata raises his voice a little. How could he control it? He didn't notice it, but to Tsukishima it was frightening. It hurt. “You should've just left me alone if you're going to be like this!”

“I'm not wrong for trying to help you, it’s you who's wrong for thinking things you should never consider.” Tsukishima said slowly so that Hinata would understand, and so that he wouldn't need to repeat those lies. He pinched the bridge of his nose with closed eyes until he spoke again. “Hinata, I'm straight.”

“You're lying.” Now, Hinata’s voice just didn't crack, it also trembled. “You're lying, Tsukishima. Why are you lying?!”

“Why would I be lying?!” Tsukishima grabs Hinata’s shoulders, “Forget about it! Those things you feel for me, throw it away this instant!”

“Why should I?!” Hinata yelled, taking Tsukishima's collar into his hands. “When you're lying! Stop lying!”

“I'm not lying. Believe me when I say I'm not. Because you disgust me.”

Tsukishima lets go, and so does Hinata. Hinata loses his grip slowly, as he processes the words that just came inside his head.  _ Did I get that right? _ He asked himself, looking down on the ground and hands falling to his sides.

“I disgust you? Fuckery. If I disgusted you, why did you stay? Huh?!” Hinata manages despite the tightening around his chest. “All that time you just wasted in the hospital, and looking for me, taking care of me… and for what?”

“It doesn't have to mean anything…”

With the tears welling up in his eyes, he sees Tsukishima's hand trying to hold onto him but Hinata pushes the boy away before he could. “Leave! Don't come near me anymore.”

“If that's what you want.”

Hinata saw Tsukishima's lips move but he couldn't translate it in his head. How could he? The water in his eyes ruined his vision, all he could see were blurry figures and Tsukishima leaving. Hinata falls to his knees, sobbing, as quiet as he could but he wouldn't know.

* * *

“Tsukki, have you seen Hinata?” Yamaguchi asked, reaching for his toes while everyone else was warming up. “I haven't seen him this morning.”

“Leave him be.”

“Oh. Did something happen again?” Yamaguchi gets up and looks at his tall friend. “Don't tell me you guys fought?”

“We didn't. He confessed.”

“Oh my god?!” Yamaguchi grabs his friend, “For real?! Are you two together?!”

Tsukishima clicks his tongue and shoves Yamaguchi’s hands off. “Does it look like it? Shut up, you're too noisy.”

“Okay, what happened? Tell me.” Yamaguchi sits next to Tsukishima on the wooden floor. “Didn't you two go to school together?”

“We did.” Tsukishima stretches and reaches for his back.

“Will you take him home?” Yamaguchi asks while he gets behind Tsukishima to push him down.

“I don't even know if he’s still here.”

“Then let’s walk together. You have to tell me what’s happening.”

“Why are you interested in my life?”

“Because…” Yamaguchi pouts, “Why not? You know. Hinata and you, like Yachi said once before… are the sun and moon.” 

“Did she say something like that?” Tsukishima stops mid-stretch, feeling a light sting in the small of his back. “Where are you getting at?”

“Ah, well, during our joined practices. While you were blocking with Kuroo, Bokuto and Akaashi.” Yamaguchi trails, helping Tsukishima reach further by pushing gently. “But anyway. She said something like the two of you being rivals. But don't you think it would be much better if you two just… shined together?”

Tsukishima sits up and looks back at Yamaguchi with a grimacing face, “Doesn't make sense.” He stands, and Yamaguchi gets up as well. “Don't tell me their stupidity is finally getting to you?”

“No, no. Jerk.” Yamaguchi hits Tsukishima's arm. “Let me explain. If you continue to drive the sun away, like a moon, won’t you lose your light?”

“Speak in a language I’ll understand.” Tsukishima clicks his tongue once again.

“If you keep pushing Hinata away, continuing to think that you're undeserving of him when, none of the things that’s happened to him is actually your fault… don't you think it’s stupid? Because you're wasting your chance to finally be happy, and you're also dragging Hinata down by… you know… acting like this towards him now when it looks like he needs you the most.”

“Hinata…” Tsukishima sighs and pulls his knee pads up, “Doesn't need someone like me.”

Daichi calls them to gather around, and they’re all on the way to huddle up by the door. While walking, Yamaguchi pats Tsukishima's back and he smiles. “He needs someone exactly like you.” 

“Hinata didn't come in today?”

“No,” Kageyama answers. “He wasn't feeling very well so I think he went home.”

“Oh. Then, why don't we…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope u enjoyed! have a nice day


	7. Mutual

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Maybe not today,” Hinata takes Tsukishima’s hand and traces the lines of their palm. “Or tomorrow. But eventually. They're going to fade one day and you're gonna regret ever rejecting me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here we go endgameee  
> k so i wanted to add more angst but im saving it for the next series .-.  
> this is officially done but then again, like i said 'next series' no this isn't finished i have like 20 more drafts related to Orbit  
> and if i ever publish them, its gonna be an angst storm, fluff fest and yk the usual mite even get them married or sumn wHO KNOWS but anyws,  
> enjoy! have a nice day

“Are you sure this is okay?” Asahi asks Sugawara, lifting the heavy paper bag inside his large arms. “What if they’re not home?”

“I'm a hundred percent sure! And, who would refuse free food anyway? I'm sure Hinata’s mom would be delighted.” Sugawara smiles, patting Asahi’s back. “This is a good idea, Daichi. I hope Hinata feels better after.”

“Me too.” Daichi flashes a genuine smile that's a little sad. “Miss having him around. He must be feeling lonely, no? Let’s let him know that he’s got all of us.”

“Anyway. Hinata’s home is nearby, so, are we just going to show up?” Kageyama asks Daichi, glancing at Tsukishima, then Yamaguchi, then back to Daichi.

“Mrs. Hinata knows you, right? You should show up first, make an excuse for coming by then we’re going to surprise Hinata when he’s out.” Daichi answers, and Yamaguchi sneaks into the two’s conversation.

“I think it’d be better if Tsukki does the talking.” The boy with freckles suggested, swinging his bag as he spoke. “I think the two need to talk, too.”

“No way, Yamaguchi.” Tsukishima scowled, “I'm just going to drop these off then I'm leaving.”

“What? Did you two fight?” Daichi is surprised, and concerned. “That’s… not new.”

“Right?!” Yamaguchi sighs, “Okay, okay, make up already.” Yamaguchi brings his bag up and gets a paper bag. He hands it to Yamaguchi, “I have a feeling that he won't like the other food, so I got this  _ for you,  _ to give  _ him, _ so that  _ you two _ could make up.”

“How thoughtful.”

“Jeez! Just make up!” Yamaguchi shoved the bag to Tsukishima's chest this time. “They're meat buns.”

Tsukishima huffs but takes it anyway. “You didn't have to.”

“Oh, no, I do. You idiot.” Yamaguchi rolls his eyes and starts walking ahead, leaving Tsukishima and Daichi.

“Remind me to pay him later.” Tsukishima mumbles, opening the paper bag to see if there was anything else inside. Tsukishima can be anything, but what he’s not is an idiot. Knowing his best friend, he probably put something else in like… Tsukishima pulls out a heart lollipop, “A heart lollipop.” He twirls it in his fingers, below the wrapper was a sticker that said ‘I love you xoxo’ in cursive.

“Yikes.” Daichi scoffs and laughs, “Are you and Hinata together?”

“He likes me.”

“And you like him, too.”

“And what proof do you have?” 

“The way you look at him. It’s obvious.”

Tsukishima wants to pull his eye sockets off and throw them in the trash. But at the same time, he just wants to find Hinata and stare at him all day.

“So? Why did you have a lover's quarrel?”

“We’re not lovers.”

“Not yet.” Daichi teases.

“Ugh. Shut up.” Tsukishima pockets the lolly, then he realizes that they're already in front of the Hinata residence. Daichi pulls him down, and he ducks. He catches a glimpse of Mrs. Hinata by the door, talking to Kageyama.

They hear her voice, then she leaves to go in and call her son. They wait a few minutes.

“What’s taking so long?” Tanaka asks, looking at Nishinoya.

“Maybe he’s showering.” Nishinoya answered, peeking from the gate. “Kageyama!” He whisper-shouts.

Kageyama turns and shushes him, then Hinata comes out.

“Hey, what’s up? You skipped club?” Hinata’s steps are light, he has wet and messy hair and his clothes are loose. “Sorry,” he yawns, “I was just falling asleep-”

“Hinata!!!!” Everyone except Tsukishima jumps out and greets.

“Oh.” Hinata is stunned. “Wh-what are you guys doing here?”

「To see you.」Kageyama signs, “We brought food. Let’s eat?”

“Oh. Uh.” He looks at everyone and in the back, he sees Tsukishima. “... yeah, come in, everyone.”

“Thank you, sorry for intruding.” Daichi comes first, “Let me greet Mrs. Hinata.”

“Sure. I think she’s in the kitchen.”

Everyone gets in and goes to the dining room. Tsukishima is far behind, Hinata notices it but doesn't do anything.

“What did you guys bring?” Hinata asks, rubbing his eye then brushing his hair back. 

“Meat!”

“Well, enjoy.” Hinata smiles and gets everyone's utensils, Yamaguchi helps him. “Who’s idea was this?” He asks.

“Daichi’s.” Yamaguchi takes the plates from Hinata’s arms. “Are you feeling okay?”

“Yeah. Thanks.” Hinata gets the chopsticks.

Everyone settles down and starts eating, Hinata gets a little and excuses himself because he isn't really hungry. He goes to the backyard and sits on the veranda. He sneezes, minding his hair that’s still wet. “Ugh, I should dry my hair.” Despite the fact that he just sat down, he’s about to stand up when someone pokes his shoulder. He looks, it’s Tsukishima, and he’s not looking back.

“Mrs. Hinata told me to give this to you.” He says with averted eyes. 

“Oh… thank you.” Hinata takes it and puts it over his head. “... Sit with me.” Tsukishima listens and sits down a foot away. He hands the paper bag, their eyes still don't meet. “Oh? What’s this?”

「Meat buns. Saw that you didn't eat a lot.」Tsukishima signs, body facing forward. 

“Oh.” Hinata’s lips form a small smile. “Thanks… did you eat already?” Tsukishima shakes his head. “Why not?”

「Don’t feel like it.」

“Hey…” Hinata brings his knees to his chest, “I'm sorry about earlier. That was insensitive of me.”

This is what makes Tsukishima look. “About you lying. I didn't,” Hinata shrugs, “Didn't think it through. I just thought that you felt the same because you… well. You're so nice to me, and you offer me the best of hugs and you're just…” Hinata trails and sighs. “The best. You know? Sorry.”

“Hinata.” Tsukishima calls, tapping on the wood to make Hinata look at his lips. “You shouldn't be sorry. I'm the one who’s insensitive…”

“Then… we’re okay?”

“If you want us to be.”

“Of course!” Hinata beams, and like that, Tsukishima’s day is complete. Hinata scoots closer and puts the bag on the other side, “Just forget I ever confessed.”

“No.”

“What! Why not?” Hinata punches Tsukishima with all he has. “Forget!!! And I’ll forget my feelings for you, too.” 

“Maybe not today,” Hinata takes Tsukishima’s hand and traces the lines of their palm. “Or tomorrow. But eventually. They're going to fade one day and you're gonna regret ever rejecting me.”

“Wow.” Tsukishima scoffs, he closes his hand, keeping Hinata’s, “I already regret it, actually… but… yeah.” He fakes a smile, “It’s better if we stay like this. Friends.”

“You like me too, don't you?” He questions, but it’s more of a statement.

“Yeah. I do.” Tsukishima says honestly, “I love you a lot.”

“Then what are you so afraid of?” Hinata leans his head on Tsukishima's shoulder. “Being loved or loving back?” Tsukishima doesn't answer, so Hinata continues. “You said I disgusted you. In what way?”

「Because you like me.」

“The fact that I like you, is what disgusts you? Make it make sense.”

「Can’t.」

“Can't we try?”

「Try what?」

“Being together. I don't see a problem… you know? You love me. And I love you. As far as I know, that’s all that matters.”

「Is it?」

Hinata nods, then he places his chin on Tsukishima's shoulder so that their eyes would meet. “Can we try?” The boy mutters, faces only inches apart. “Please.”

“Hinata, I don't deserve you.”

“And what makes you think  _ I _ deserve  _ you? _ ”

“You deserve everything known in this world.” Tsukishima shifts, leaning towards his knees. “You deserve the world, it’s stars and more.”

“And if it’s you I want?”

“Like I said, I don't-”

“Bullshit.” Hinata interrupts, “Please. Tsukki. You love me. Right? If you love me, you’d do what would make me happy-right?” Tsukishima slowly nods to this. “Then be with me.” Hinata nudges the blonde, wrapping his hands around one arm. “Okay? Let’s try it out, at least. And, if I convince you to date me, then it’s official. Okay? Please.”

「If it makes you happy… then, okay.」

“Yes! Thank you.” Hinata pulls Tsukishima and hugs him tightly. “I'm going to make you the happiest! Your nickname will no longer be Stingyshima but Happyshima.”

“Pfft.” Tsukishima reaches for his back pocket, pulls away from Hinata and he gives him the lolly from earlier. “I'm so sorry.”

Hinata accepts it and reads it, “I love you.” He gives the brightest smile ever, then he leans in to share a short kiss with Tsukishima. “I love you, too.” 

“I love you more.” Tsukishima kisses him again.

“I love you most.” Hinata returns the kiss.

“I love you more than most.” Tsukishima tucks Hinata’s hair back, then kisses his forehead a few times.

“Aw, but I love you most-est.”

“That’s not even a word.” Tsukishima grimaces.

“Exactly.” Hinata giggles. “No word can explain how much I love you.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry im just *screech* no one makes enough the tsukihina that ive taken the matters into my own hands 😔😔😔 tskhn makes me fucking feel things you know im DIDKCKEKDSLXKSKXKE wrecked ):

**Author's Note:**

> i might come back and edit this one day


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